It slid past me that June 9th is the 13th year of Black Witch! It really has been a long time, it’s easy for the days to slide past me. Especially now as I juggle countless things, goodness. But I am indeed still around, woo.
Latest Entries »
Woo! It’s been a while! I’ve been balancing so many different things but I still do keep an eye on this blog at all times.
I recently guest appeared on The Daily Empath podcast where I talk about my practice, how I got into Paganism and more! They were wonderful hosts
There will be some regular posts but as always in these modern times, it’s when I can. I do, one day, want to get my Ask Black Witch questions out the way because I’ve gotten quite a few while I was out.
Also! Brief update to my pronouns!
It’s she/xem
I’m what I consider a bit non-binary, at minimum. In all honesty, I simply just straight up don’t believe in the gender binary and haven’t for a while and wanted the pronouns to reflect that. I’m a cis-woman but I lean fairly, I suppose, gender non-conforming, perhaps genderqueer? There are a lot of words but basically the run down of what to remember:
“She/xem” just means I go by she/her and xe/xem pronouns. Xe/xem is pronounced “zee/zem”. Don’t feel bad, it took me a while to learn how to pronounce it also. The gender neutral xe/xem for titles (like Mr. or Mrs) is “Mx.”, pronounced “Mix” – which I prefer written over being said simply because I feel like “Mx.” makes me sound like a dj when spoken. “Ms.” is also fine because, again, I still go by she/her pronouns, but Mx. Is also a good alternative. Here’s a little interactive of how to use “xe/xem”.
And a pronunciation video of “xe”!
Inb4 “how dare you use new words to describe yourself as if language isn’t fluid and everchanging, thus why we don’t talk like people in the 1950 or the 1920s or further back!”. Chill, using gender neutral pronouns have been around since the mid-1800s. It even stretches back to the late 18th century. We’re currently in the 21st century. Your internet is newer than these pronouns – heck, you are newer than these pronouns, relax.
I’m still demisexual af. Woo. My orientation is still the same, just wanted to reflect a change on my personal belief of gender, gender norms and ideas. I’m still the same person. I honestly never had a “tortured soul” moment about my perspective of gender, just like I never had one about being demisexual. I have a stronger memory about liking particular pizza toppings than I do about the day it dawned on me “oh, I’m ace/demi” or “wow, I really think the gender binary sounds like a scam bored people with too much time on their hands came up with”.
I also have been reading the super cute webcomic titled “Daybreak”, recommended by Pianta, a really nifty artist with really nifty art. I strongly recommend reading Daybreak and checking out Pianta (I do miss doing The Arts! because I have been coming across a lot that deserves sharing).
That’s all folks!
Share this:
Been a while, hasn’t it? I’m still trying to find a balance between MultiMind Publishing and here but I’m still around! I was recently interviewed by Madam Noire along with other Black witches about practicing witchcraft and Blackness. Make sure to check it out!
I super agree with Frankie when asked about what the media gets wrong about witchcraft when they said: “It’s like ‘Let’s get this money. Let’s be beautiful.'” They make it more about the outer when it’s about the inner. I noticed on social media, especially with younger people, everybody wants to do a hex. Everybody wants to do a love spell. Everybody wants to get somebody back. That’s not what it really is about.” I get countless letters and messages that basically fit in these three categories. There are so many “spells” I see floating online about money and being pretty (to someone else, little on self-work). They are just major misconceptions that seemingly fuels themselves. It’s phony, to say the least. I totally understand the appeal but it is amazing how it has just exploded in recent years.
The article was a great experience, I liked it.
Share this:
Editor’s Note: This was written before the Buffalo mass shooting, which was an anti-Black hate crime. Also, there is a guide from Berkley on how to self-remove bias & biased thinking.
Time for a comment post-mortem, because it needs one. This was posted under the previous posted, titled “Dump Paula Langley, UMBC – the Continuation of the Problems at UMBC Library”, written by a person named “Anon Witch”:
“If someone is being offensive, I’d like to know more of the details of the offensiveness. The dyslexic is just a rediculous example and part of cancel culture. I’m personally not offended when people have mindsets other than myself and I definitely don’t believe in cancel culture if someone doesnt share my beliefs, etc. I feel these days people are just offended by “everything”. I am a free speech advocate, however if someone is working for an establishment, they should also adhere to its rules. Being rude to customers is unacceptable.”
Before I get into why this is all sorts of derp, let me show my reply to this comment:
Read the articles linked, and you’ll see some of the worse stuff. You should have done that prior, free speech also includes reading, I would imagine.
Now, two things: 1) Cancel culture has been around for *centuries*, this is just the new name. Also, that’s covered under free speech. As a “free speech advocate”, that should dawn on you. When I worked in the Library of Congress, we would say “‘Freedom of Speech’ does not mean ‘Freedom from Consequences’.” I have noticed the part that people who are squeamish about “cancel culture” is exactly the “consequence” part. Yes, being judged by your behavior sucks but that’s how the cookie crumbles.
2) Just because something doesn’t personally hurt *your* feelings, that doesn’t mean it isn’t hurtful. Yes, it sucks to learn that the world does not personally revolve around you but it’s a fact. I’m not dyslexic either but that doesn’t change the fact that “be dyslexic” is still ableist, plain and simple.
In other words, it doesn’t matter what *you* personally feel. No one should be violating the rights of others or harassing them for simply existing. And the old world you’re thinking of isn’t much better – White people literally would freak out if a Black person used a “White Only” fountain and men freaked out when women said “we have rights, just like you”, and straight & cis people still get their panties in a bunch over the existence of queer and trans people. Now *that* was “easily offended”. Now people who historically had to put up with such behavior can instead make those folks face the actual consequence of their behaviors.
People are still free to do what they want, but there are consequences. Basic “cause meets effect”. Paula was free to use her speech, and now the people she affected, me included, are using our freedoms of speech to newspapers, the internet, UMBC HR and Civil Rights investigators. And, if Paula has the brains for it, she’s free to use her freedom of speech to get herself out of this mess.
The DoJ doesn’t visit because someone has hurt fee-fees, they’re visiting because Paula’s behaviors are Civil Rights violations. Freedom of Speech doesn’t mean Freedom of Hate Speech nor Freedom to Violate Other People’s 1st Amendment Rights.
Also, libraries don’t have “customers” they have “patrons”, libraries are free to the public.
Now, to get into the daft nonsense that was Anon Witch’s comment.
Since I’ve already covered a lot in my original comment, let’s start with this fun comic from xkcd:
Remember everyone, “freedom of speech” is not “freedom of consequences”. If you put your foot in your mouth, people have the right to say you put your foot in your mouth. Even at the consequence of losing a job, social respect, etc. If you don’t want people to get on your case for the screwed up things you say, then put all the screwed up things you want to say in a physical diary, not on the internet. Orrrrr just take accountability for the things you say, good or bad. Can’t please everyone, fact of life.
Let’s crack out the bingo board! Because it’s been a while before we have seen a bingo board.
Here’s what this comment hit and why:
You’re overly sensitive – It’s basically the entire comment, from the first word to the last. They don’t even personally know the people involved in the case but wants to cape for the bad guy because “I don’t like Cancel Culture … and I’m somehow a free speech advocate at the same time”. Ok, so Anon Witch wants to back a person that literally badgered a transwoman to suicide, has an establish record of being ableist – to the point of firing people – and has never gone a single year at UMBC without a civil rights investigation, be it university, state or federal. That’s fine for them to say and do, just like it’s fine for me to point this nonsense out as clearly as possible. It doesn’t bother them, a random person on the internet that literally went anon, therefore the DoJ and everyone else should totally back off. The case only has one dead person involved, Anon Witch’s personal number of deaths or level of harassment hasn’t been hit whatsoever (which they failed to say what that level or number of deaths is). As for “they should adhere to the rules”, maybe Anon Witch should route themself to read up on civil rights, free speech and discrimination. You can’t harass people or discriminate people at work, especially based on any historical marginalization they have. Nice half-baked save with the “however[,] if someone is working for an establishment, they should also adhere to its rules” but too bad it’s super flimsy due to the “if”. Apply the “if” part, then it begs the question of “why say all the nonsense above the ‘if’ statement?” The establishment is a university and the rules are broken severely, the end.
Your experience is not representative of everyone – “I’d like to know more of the details of the offensiveness.” “I’m personally not offended when people have mindsets other than myself” Ok, so Anon Witch is a mega fan of mirrors, it appears. Again, while it does suck to know this, I’ll say it again: The world doesn’t revolve around Anon Witch. Or anyone, for that matter. Me included. Something can be a very prejudicial act, even if the affected group is not there. It’s not a case of “if a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” Yes, if someone told me something anti-Semitic, and there were zero Jewish people around – it’s still anti-Semitic. Even though I’m Pagan, not Jewish. Even though speaker is not. Still prejudiced. Now, if the speaker is Jewish, there’s always a case of internalized anti-Semitism … meaning what they say can still be anti-Semitic. If it can harm the group as a whole, not simply an individual, then yep, it can still be considered prejudiced.
Oh, and maybe if Anon Witch read the actual articles, they would have more details. The reason I’m not doing my usual treasure trove level exposure is because all those files are before the Dept of Justice investigators and reporters, who are the people who need to see it most. Not a random self-absorbed person on the internet.
Can you prove your experience is widespread – “If someone is being offensive, I’d like to know more of the details of the offensiveness. The dyslexic is just a [ridiculous] example and part of cancel culture.” Read above for details.
You’re just looking for something to be offended by – “I’m personally not offended when people have mindsets other than myself and I definitely don’t believe in cancel culture if someone [doesn’t] share my beliefs, etc. I feel these days people are just offended by “everything”. I am a free speech advocate…” Too bad harassing and discriminating people in the workplace is not only offensive but also super illegal (and rights violating: Human rights, Civil rights and Constitutional Rights).
You’re seeing problems where none exist – “I’m personally not offended when people have mindsets other than myself and I definitely don’t believe in cancel culture if someone [doesn’t] share my beliefs, etc. I feel these days people are just offended by “everything”. I am a free speech advocate…” Yep, that statement hit multiple bingo blocks
I don’t find this offensive – “I’d like to know more of the details of the offensiveness. The dyslexic is just a [ridiculous] example and part of cancel culture. I’m personally not offended when people have mindsets other than myself and I definitely don’t believe in cancel culture if someone [doesn’t] share my beliefs, etc. I feel these days people are just offended by “everything”. I am a free speech advocate…” Like I said, multiple blocks.
I already talked about this above but in case anyone needs a revisit: While “Cancel Culture” is not fun to be on the business end of, it is part of free speech. Not the erosion of it. You’re free to say what’s on your mind and others are free to react to it. That includes screen-capping it and slapping it everywhere that there will be eyes and ears. To say, “I should be allowed to be a jerk but you can’t punish me for it [you’re free to praise and agree with me, though]” is a violation of free speech because why should one side get to say whatever they want, regardless who it hurts, and no one else can react to it? Especially if that reaction is negative.
Personally, I’m not really into obsessing about “Cancel Culture”. It’s simply a thing that exists. If someone says or does something prejudiced and it’s out for the world to see, then whatever happens happens. I only have concern if there are ulterior motives (such as railing on a Muslim person saying something homophobic … but the crowd is awful silent when a Christian person also says something homophobic – that shows Islamophobia at play) or something was genuinely fabricated – as in the person never said or did the act at all, not “I said I didn’t like Black people but that was taken out of context!” (Still an anti-Black statement, that’s why.)
I certainly don’t get how non-famous people, like Anon Witch, can get so hepped up on what’s known as “cancel culture”. If you’re not on the cover of any major publications and you have less than 1500 followers collectively across your social media (definitely if you can’t hit above 1000 on any of your social media accounts), the less you have to worry about. The less known you are, the less concerned you should be about “getting canceled” for yourself and definitely for others.
I have ran Black Witch for almost 12 years now and I haven’t had to worry about this. Cancel Culture is an unnecessary thing to fret over to me. Then again, I actually do try to not say or do screwed up things that harms other historically marginalized people, right down to who I feature for The Arts! on this blog. The easiest way to stay out of hot water is to never put yourself in it. And if you screw up, own up, and accept what happens. Freedom of Speech doesn’t mean “people have to like or be quiet about what you say”. Learning takes time, as does unlearning, but you have to do the work. Good thing there are countless resources online that allows people to learn.
I’ve gotten hate websites shut down before, mind you. Hate speech is technically protected by the 1st amendment under “freedom of speech” (assuming it doesn’t turn into a hate crime (which includes hate speech, trolololo)) buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut! a lot of websites, if not nearly every website, has a Terms of Service (ToS) which says you’re not allowed to say discriminatory things nor provoke discriminatory things. That’s not the government shutting down the hate sites, it’s the website & online hosts (Twitch, Lycos, WordPress, Discord, GoDaddy, etc) because the people who created these sites are in no mood to being interviewed by the New York Times or answer questions from a congressional committee should a person go from just being all talk behind the keyboard to making those feelings very known in the physical world. (UPDATE: Twitch and Discord are now feeling this because of the Buffalo mass shooting, both are getting investigated and countless news articles bear their names. They’re not happy.)
Heck, I can personally choose what comments I allow on my blog. I don’t mind differing comments because I wouldn’t want to run a blog where it’s just a big echo chamber – but that doesn’t mean I have to let the folks run riot with their opinions, completely unopposed. I’m not always right, true facts, but neither are they. Plus, having an opinion, even an opposite opinion, doesn’t give anyone license to be a jerk or douche, either. I make it a point to respond to everyone the best I can – sometimes in a way they would wish I never saw what they wrote at all. Why? Because it’s my blog. Engaging with comments made on my blog is not the same as me trawling the internet to bother other people on their spaces.
As for the “people are too easily offended nowadays” – uhhhhhhhh, no. Historically marginalized people are tired of getting insulted/harassed/harmed (UPDATE: Or brutally murdered on livestream) for literally existing as the historically marginalized. Now, the tables can be turned on folks who act like trash. “Oh noes! People want their human rights respected! Life was so much better when we could just treat the historically marginalized horribly and they could hardly do anything about it! It sucks that I now can face real consequences for my behavior!” Life’s like that. Get over it.
It’s fine that Anon Witch can excuse ableism, and cape for a transphobic, prejudiced person. Anon Witch is all the way in California just typing away on their phone (I do ip location checks on comments like these since the Aussie Who Should’ve Kept Her Mouth Shut), so I guess they felt distant enough to pretend to be a “Free Speech Advocate” while musing that talking about someone’s bad behavior is, well, bad.
Maybe they should build a bridge and get over it. If someone doesn’t want to be in hot water, they should probably work to stay out of hot water. Land in it anyways? If you screw up, own up and then clean up. (UPDATE: And don’t murder people for simply existing.)
Share this:
I mentioned in the last post that I was in a newspaper article about the abhorrent behaviors of Paula Langley, the deeply bigoted Circulation Manager at University of Maryland, Baltimore County (UMBC). Here is the new article. The article is titled “Past and current AOK Library employees reveal negative experiences with supervisor”. I wanted to point out a quote of mine for clarification.
In the article I said, “I think she hits on almost every single pin of bigotry except for race and gender”. I believe I said at the time of talking to the reporter (who did a great job with the article!) “race and sexism”, not “race and gender”. However, I asked them to check the record (I allowed to be recorded) so I could also see which version I said, but while we find that out, I usually say “Paula has hit on almost every pin but racism and sexism.”
Actually, after saying this to the reporter, I had then sat down a few days later with the Department of Justice Title IX investigators during their campus visit. (Title IX covers gender discrimination, for those who are not in the know.) The investigators were there because of Paula’s behavior (she’s really good at wracking up investigations, I don’t think there has been a single year where Paula didn’t get investigated for something she has done or said). I learned from the sit-down I had with the investigators that transphobia falls under sexism in the eyes of the DoJ (especially now since Trump is gone). Usually when I say “sexism”, I mean the more “classical” version of sexism, such as general misogyny (like making derogatory comments about women in general, sexual assault, etc). Basically, I meant, “I never heard Paula say or do anything negative about women in general, just transwomen.” Just like I have never heard Paula say or do anything negative about anyone as it pertained to race. That’s why I went “I have no idea how come she hasn’t hit Yahtzee”. Since Paula Langley sure despises people based on age (ageism), trans identity (transphobia), religion (religious bigotry), disability (ableism), orientation (queerphobia), it’s a surprise she doesn’t bother with the two more “popular” types of bigotry.
Oh, and this is the document that the article references, where Paula uses the term “Dyslexic” in a pejorative manner:
The little handwriting in the upper right corner is mine. The date says 2/5/18, in case someone has a hard time seeing it.
I have the problematic bit highlighted in pink. (For the investigators, I had the computer pathway mapped out for their convenience, hence why part of it is whited out for the internet.)
And yup, one of Paula’s reasons for not liking me is because I have disorders. And that I’m … chatty? And I admit that while I am talkative (this blog is 12 years old, should be obvious by now), if Paula kept her mouth shut from the start, she wouldn’t be staring at investigation after investigation on nearly every government & university level. I may be a chatty cathy but at least I don’t get endlessly investigated for spouting hate.
Also, I have heard some people say, “Oh, this is because Paula is Black and Vivien is White. You’re ganging up on a Black woman.”
I’m Black (it’s even part of this blog’s name, Black Witch). Many of the people Paula treated like trash actually are Black. Perry is Black. Dakota is Black. Joe is Asian. So, no it’s not a race issue. Paula doesn’t see race – because she’s too busy staring at everything else.
Actually, Paula is of Jamaican heritage. Fun fact: So am I. Paula isn’t just the same race as me, she even shares the same island heritage! So, nope, it’s not “ganging up on a defenseless Black woman”, she really is as bad as the article paints her to be. And she’s not that defenseless … the university seems to defend her quite a lot – to the point that the Department of Justice paid a physical visit. In other words, Paula is super okay with treating other Black people like literal trash so, nope it’s not a race thing or else I and a lot of other people would have been spared. Even if we were, her other behavior is still not okay.
Paula Langley has got to go.
Share this:
I’m back. For how long, I’ve no clue because I really have had my fingers in a lot of pies. Yes, I’m still doing my June 9th, 12th anniversary livestream on my FB fan page and perhaps on my Insta, 12 PM EST. Now, on to the life updates:
– We’re still in a pandemic and I’m still considered a front-line worker because woo, being a librarian for national health library (I’ve talked about this in posts pasts)
– My cat, Madison, passed after 19/20 years of being with me. She was a stray kitten picked up off the street and lived through four presidencies. She passed of old age. She passed in late March at home, I’m glad I was there and was able to provide end-of-life care but I’m still intensely saddened about the passing of my cat.
– One of the pies I have had my finger in is my creative writing. As MultiMind (I explain there why I have different monikers (Spoiler alert: it’s to keep things organized on the back end. There’s Black Witch, MultiMind and Everything Else (i.e. regular life)). I recently came out with a dark fantasy/horror novella called Dreamer.
– Have you read the article in UMBC’s newspaper, The Retriever, about the super transphobic, queerphobic, ableist, ageist UMBC Library Circulation Manager Paula Langley? I don’t know why I somehow keep getting super prejudiced people who work in libraries that I have to air the dirty laundry of (check the Wayback Machine, 2016 for the first go around) but welp – people should know better. It’s 2022, educate yourselves. I talked about her here as well. By the way, there will be a suicide mention in the article and my post. Langley did bully a trans-person, my former supervisor, to literal death, after all. And the university knew the entire time, from when Paula started her behavior, to the death itself. They just decided to cover it up. Oh, and I was banned from the UMBC campus a day after. The Retriever came out on the Apr 27 and I also talked to the Dept of Justice, who was doing an on campus visit largely because of Paula Langley, on that same day. It was a permaban but it’s now down to only the end of the year after I appealed it. Reason? I slid a copy of the Retriever under Paula’s office door. It’s about her, I figured she’d want to see it. This is what the paper looked like, by the way
Hey, reading is fundamental, after all.
Nice to know the university really prefers to stand by Paula, even to the point of a DoJ revisit. Oh, and for UMBC, in case I’m told to “make the post go away”, it’s the internet. This post & blog will be long archived before you know it. Should’ve handled the problem better.
– There’s also the pressure I have been starting to put on Temple University library (yep, another university. For institutions that pride themselves on smarts – they pump out & protect a lot of dumb people) because of their treatment of another friend of mine who also was a librarian, Latanya Jenkins. She was battling cancer and the university didn’t really care too much about that, especially her manager. Wherever Latanya went, university-wise, to get care and accommodations for her job as a Reference librarian for Temple University, they made sure she wouldn’t want to use it – basically forcing her to choose between her cancer treatment or her job. Her manager tried to make Latanya look inept because of the illness, among other prejudiced reasons. HR only intervened lackadaisically and mainly on the side of the manager. I even talked with a library higher up and they told me that there’s some inaccuracies in Latanya’s tale … that they somehow do not want to share or correct (which means, as far as I’m concerned, there aren’t any inaccuracies at all). I’m still pressing the best I can on them but so are other librarians and publications.
– Mr. Black Witch, CTL17, is out. I want to talk about that a bit because I’ve had relationships go south (almost everyone has a relationship that simply fails) but this really took the cake. From fatphobia to anti-Blackness (A. News Flash: do not be surprised if you date a Black person and you find out that … they’re a Black person. B. I am literally one of the worst person on this planet if you have hang-ups in that department and I do personally see to it that I stay that way). He thought I was “too attached to my culture”. Though he apologized, after I basically ripped on him for saying that but still, that should have never been said in the first place, he’s a grown adult with a functional brain. There’s other doozies also. Yes, pobody’s nerfect but then there’s saying trash like that. I know he’s got an odd phobia about “Cancel Culture” (I personally don’t care much about Cancel Culture) but he sure would say a lot that could easily get him caught up in that.
I should have kinda guessed something was off when he thought Asian Americans were doing amazing in 2020/2021 simply because “they’re not being treated as bad as how it was in the 1800s”. (By the way, everyone, #StopAsianHate kicked off in 2021 because of the ramping up of anti-Asian sentiment from 2019 to … now. No, it’s not like the 1800s but there are a lot of things that still need to be done.) When it came to cultural issues (that didn’t support Whiteness), it just seemed like he adopted the Whitest approach he could think of, and if that failed (which it did, a lot) there went the “oh, it’s Asian culture stuff” route, which I guess he thought he could throw on and off like a coat when really convenient. Though I do try to be well read, I know I’m not a scholar on the Asian diasporic consciousness … but I do know accountability-ducking bullsh*t when I hear it. Going “oh, I was basically raised White – wait, now I’m Asian – wait, now I’m ‘raised White’…” when you’re told about your problematic behavior is not a great idea. Borrowed White Fragility is a bad idea, to say the least. When you screw up, own up and then clean up. Plain and simple.
I found him a therapist (he refused to do even that much himself even though he noted that he could use one himself. I noticed he really didn’t like doing any leg work, kind of like an adult child, if not an over-grown teenager). He and I both agreed therapy was beneficial to him, and it really was for the relationship for a little while, but he basically sawed things off when he learned that he had to respect my cultural identity and that my cultural identity is part of me. That somewhat started a while back when he didn’t understand why a game he’s a fan of, Genshin Impact, was accused of colorism. There were several things Genshin was thundered against but the colorism claim was dead-on correct … but he said he preferred not to see “colored characters” (yep, he said “colored”, as if it were the 1950s) because he would feel “pent up and worried”. Apparently, he kind of liked living in a dreamland where he didn’t know that colorism was real and no one would ever point it out to him – and Whiteness is the focus, I suppose? I mean, he already thought Asian Americans being set on fire and mass murdered (two things that happened in 2020/2021) is eons better than facing the Chinese Exclusion Act so I really should not have been surprised that he was that much ejected from living in the real world. I don’t expect everyone to be a scholar in these topics because they can get dense … but he could make Nella Larsen’s Passing sound like The Autobiography of Malcom X.
But what put the nail in the coffin for him was that he got upset that I wanted him to refrain from speaking AAVE. My reasons were because a) he spoke it poorly, it was basically Imagined Black English b) he’s not Black, nor was raised around Black people. To be honest, I dislike non-Black anyone speaking AAVE, especially if they’re middle class on up (where AAVE is spoken way less due to racial/class intersection reasons) because it usually is Imagined Black English (IBE), not actual African American Vernacular English (AAVE).
For example, my spoken Chinese isn’t the greatest but I didn’t have a meltdown when he told me to not speak it because he thought I was making fun of the culture – I started to bone up on my Chinese pronunciation on my own time instead … because I never wanted to come off as “making fun of your identity”. So, if my speaking is that level bad (knowing 5+ languages isn’t easy, especially when not immersed in those languages – my reading is usually best, then listening, then speaking) but I acquiesced instead of double down on my wrongness, I thought he would do the same. He didn’t. He instead melted down in a form of Borrow White Fragility and wanted to be personally slow walked about why being disrespectful of the Black identity is bad. Readers of this blog know that I’m not the slow walking type when it comes to racial issues. I guess he was also upset that I wasn’t a self-hating oreo, I suppose, to match his internalized racism. He seemed a little too happy to crack “grape flavor” jokes – which I immediately would shut him down about, because it’s not funny, it’s harmful. He would apologize and not do it again … but he should have known by now how those jokes are harmful, especially with his degree & age. And remember, everyone, I showed him this blog before we were official – I do that with every guy. Some people should come with a warning label, this blog is probably a warning booklet. Complete with a search engine and categories listed.
It wasn’t that “he didn’t have the knowledgeable resources” – he has a Ph.D in Philosophy … he knows how to think and research, in other words. Plus, he had access to my site, which he could have literally looked at and read in earnest. I’m not bell hooks … but I’m still cited by academic texts on race, gender, and connected social issues. When he didn’t have his head up his derriere about things he should have known before dating me, he was nice. He did say he was raised sheltered when we first met, he just should have added “I really wanted to stay that way”. He even wanted me to make him a playlist – with perimeters! (Ex: “Can’t be visual, I should be able to only listen to it as I game”) – instead of just, I don’t know … look it up himself. Heck, he could have started with an audiobook of The Algorithms of Oppression by Safiya Noble and went from there. I named the playlist “Spoon-food Express“. He did listen to it, which is nice … and would have been better if he did the procuring himself.
If anyone is going “but it seems he learns after you point out these problems”, here’s the thing: He’s 30+ with a Ph.D. I don’t have a Ph.D in anything and I knew this stuff far better. And when I don’t know? I look it up myself. He’s old enough and educated enough to learn this by himself years ago. At least to know that saying “colored” is super outdated, among a bunch of other things.
If he was better about the cultural issues (bare minimum: not have a White-adjacent meltdown, take it upon himself to learn things as well as unlearn harmful ideas) and was more mature (at least learn how to do for himself, not have others do it as if still a kid), he would have been a brilliant bf because he had redeeming traits … but he decided that he didn’t want to do that. Yeah, there’s the therapy he’s doing, and the therapist has been very helpful, but, to be frank, I don’t date anyone to fix them. I try to fix the relationship, even if that includes getting the partner help, sure, but I dislike the whole “women are men’s emotional rehab” thinking that’s really common, which is why I found him a therapist. He had other issues that were outside these antics, which will not be talked about here because it’s 1000% not appropriate and those issues are not what has me burnt. For me, those issues were really manageable but the prejudice stuff is not. It would have been better if he found the therapist himself but nope, that’s not what happened. And he should have known how to better navigate social issues like this instead of falling back on his deeply rooted internalized racism. That’s something anyone and everyone (including PoC) can do without the help of a therapist. If someone is above the age of 5, they can learn how to unlearn this stuff. I mean, I had to learn what prejudice was when I was far younger and through experience, not soft-hearted explanation, so anyone of practically any age can learn how to not do it. Especially a 30+ adult with a Ph.D.
Like I said, I have had relationships fail – because every relationship fails until one doesn’t – but this was a doozy of an experience. Any Asian diaspora readers here, please come collect your kin. And Happy Asian American/Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month! Everyone, please go read the longstanding blog Angry Asian Man. I came across it in college, been reading it since.
That’s basically it in the world of Black Witch. I have gotten questions and such so there will be an Ask Black Witch: While I Was Gone edition. I also will have stuff for The Arts because I came across neat art and such while I was gone.
Share this:
As we still are in a pandemic, that means some are still stuck at home (many more should have been or the pandemic would be over sooner) so that means there are those who can’t go out and about and fellowship with their covens or other Pagan spaces of worship. Also, there are those who are still in the broom closet (not out as Pagan or a witch to close ones) and still live with the people they are not out to.
Then there’s the fact that there shouldn’t be any sharing of the utensils, which can be difficult – but not impossible! – to prevent the spread of Covid. Small magick can be helpful in both cases because it is, well, small. Now, for those who are out and out, they live and practice at home as a comfortable solitary, they don’t have to really change much. If at all. But not everyone has that luxury.
Some people have homes that are basically no bigger than a three dimensional postage stamp so doing a big, flourishing ritual or spell simply is out of the question. Shouldn’t limit the practitioner. Even deities who are used to big and fancy (*cough*sun deities*cough*) can be understanding that you won’t have a field of candles or a raging bonfire to celebrate them.
The name of the game here is intent. That is what drives spellwork. Energy is the vehicle, intent is the driver. Keep up with learning energy movement and manipulation, also. You can get a lot further in a car than you can on a broken down trike. Intent means more than flashy spellwork or fancy movements. Those things mean something but intent is the crux of it all. Even with a little, you can get by as long as there is big intent.
One practice that comes to mind are “Altoid Tin Altars” which are basically small kits that fit inside a Altoid Tin container. This means everything is stripped down and shrunk down – the salt, the matches, the element representatives, etc. Easy to hide and great for keeping everything compact, and to the absolute necessities. Everything is so small and bitsy that magick could be done on the bed (don’t use candles if so – fire hazard), at the table or in the bathroom. I definitely like the bathroom because I can fill the sink full of water and do candle work on the ledge – or in the water since floating candles are real – and if the flames get massive, even on a teeny candle, because I decided to bug a fire deity, I can shove everything into the waiting water as I freak out over why the birthday candle or menorah candle (they’re colorful, handy and my Jewish friends horked them onto me when they had extras) has a flame that grew five times bigger than what should be capable of a candle.
With magick so small on the physical plane, that means the mental plane is going to need a boost. I strongly recommend meditation for this, it is the best way to strengthen your mind and keep it decent for the long run. Yes, meditation can appear very hard on the first try but that’s Skill Procurement 101 – it is going to be tough at the start. Try not to buy into falsehoods such as “you should be able to get meditation down quick and if you can’t, you’re worthless” or “try drugs!” – those two are big headaches in the Pagan community whenever someone new or very unpracticed comes along. Witchcraft involves building skill. Just put in the work. There are no shortcuts, sorry. If anyone tells you there are, they’re probably selling something. Plus an unfocused mind makes for pretty crappy magick because an unfocused mind means unfocused energy. The mental should be some degree of stronger before going to anything physical so always keep the mental primary.
Meditation doesn’t have to replicate a zen garden or the woo-woo bs kits that are probably found at Five Below or wherever New Agey bunk is sold. It can be a simple as just learning how to focus deeply on simply counting to five, first forwards (breathing in) and backwards (breathing out). There is also this handy gif below!
Stilling your mind can be tough, we don’t live in a world where it’s easy by any stretch of the imagination. There are smartphones, invasive ads, social media. Everything is all about being busy and worrying. One, because anxiety makes it easier for pointless people to sell pointless things to you. Two, being busy is an easy way to be stressed and have pointless people sell pointless things to you. Living in a capitalist society sucks, frankly.
It is ok to spend 2 to 5 minutes a day. Sometimes that can be frustrating for someone to hear because “those two to five minutes can be used elsewhere!” But in reality, it is 2 to 5 minutes. Go for 60 seconds if 2 to 5 minutes can be tough. Surely you have 60 seconds? 30 seconds? No, you’re not going to quiet your mind in 30 seconds, unless you’re very practiced, but it is still a start for trying to still your mind and focus it. Eventually, you can upgrade to energy manipulation after you learn to keep your mind quiet for long enough.
This is where the bread and butter of magick work is. Yes, it takes time. Yes, it isn’t super duper easy. That’s what “work” is.
While getting better at doing mental plane work, there is still small magick that can be done. More like “passive magick” but that’s that. It isn’t as strong or punchy as active magick but it’s something. That could be doing sympathetic magick, which is a form of passive magick, and working with the basic phases of the moon. Doing kitchen magick can be a form of somewhat passive magick, as long as things are kept light and simple. It can be simple as writing notes of intention and throwing them into a candle or plain burning them – be safe with that, by the way. Write on flash paper, which is paper meant to burn away in a flash, so you don’t have to worry about ashes and embers floating about. Do not burn bundles at the same time. One at a time, small at a time.
Using birthday candles and sand is a popular combo for me. Small, simple, easy clean up. Mark whatever you want on the candles, light them, stick them in the sand and you’re done! You can also pair them with half size incense sticks if you want, I would use the sticks as wands. This way, it keeps everything small and capable. Just keep your pets away from them. Fire hazard.
No fire? No problem, There is drawing, writing, sigils (with some real research, not just “things found on Instagram”), the list goes on and on. If there is literally no time and no room? Read and research whenever you can, it still propels you forward on your magick practicing journey. Just don’t read and research bunk, try going for accurate historical sources.
The point of small magick is to keep practicing, even when you don’t always have the space for it. Not everyone has big, lush backyards. Not everyone has a ton of space to make a complete circle, filled to the brim with knicknacks. Not everyone has the finances to have a circle filled to the brim with big knicknacks. But that should not dissolve the practice. Sometimes things have to get a little smaller.
Share this:
Tomorrow will be the BW Samhain/Halloween livestream on the FB fan page at 3 PM EST. I might be doing another one on Instagram (@thisblackwitch) afterwards but the FB one is a certainty. Be there or be square. And remember: keep your pets indoors for the spooky season. Some people are worse than the monsters on tv.
Also, if you are going to be doing Samhain/Halloween activities, a reminder:
We are still in a pandemic. If you are not vaccinated, don’t be a walking horror movie plot and stay home. No one wants to live out Dawn of the Dead or 28 Days Later because of you. If you are vaccinated, be smart and still wear a mask. The fully vaccinated can still get infected.
See everyone tomorrow!
Happy Samhain!
Share this:
Reminder everyone! Black Witch livestream will be on Samhain/Halloween at 3 PM EST on the FB fan page, there may be another showing shortly after on Instagram (@thisblackwitch).
Blackhaven
Blackhaven is an indie game available for free on Steam about history and preservation and censorship. The story follows young museum intern Kendra Turner as she works at Blackhaven museum, a fictional colonial historical landmark in Virginia, to earn her archeology trip to Greece. What she learns is that the museum has been trying to hide the landmark’s plantation past – and silence anyone who was a descendant of those forced to work on the plantation. Especially when that descendant has a right to the estate’s money.
Here’s the trailer!
I really, really liked this game. I even nicknamed it Library Simulator because I literally work in this field. And live in Maryland (they mention several Maryland places and Virginia is not far). And am Black. And female. And – are they sure they didn’t watch me work at several museums and libraries? If Kendra Turner tested the water fountains for coolness I would have have demanded a line in the small credits. (Weird thing I do, I keep a mental “Best of Best” list of water fountains from libraries & museums I work at. Library of Congress currently tops the list but only for one (1) location, a staff only spot in the Adams building. Well, two (2) – any Blue Core water fountain in Jefferson on the bottom floors.) What also makes me really attach to the game is how accurate the micro-aggressions are, from the “I’m watching you” email to the annoying phone calls. I sincerely should just show a let’s play to everyone who ever asks me “why do you have several lawyers?” You would think people surrounded by information would be, y’know, smart but I have met many who are the living embodiment of “you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.”
You, the player, discover how the museum is hiding the fact the fictional founding father, James Blackhaven, was actually a terrible slave owner (oh, wait, I said “slave owner” twice – they were all terrible). How he made his money wasn’t from being shrewd with his finances and forward thinking, it was by enslaving innocent people and putting them through tortuous, horrific conditions to turn a buck. And his wife was definitely an Angel in the House – but only to White people. On top of that, the Blackhaven estate also hides and silences anyone who is a descendant of the Black people they enslaved, telling them “no one in Blackhaven history has ever engaged with slavery. You should check your facts, we won’t let you explore our private collections”. Double so if that descendant is also an heir to Blackhaven itself and thus, the Blackhaven money.
That was so on point I was flabbergasted. Remember, I’m in Maryland and I literally work in this field, it is bananas how much these institutions will fall over themselves to hide the extremely true and glaring facts of how they came to be. If you want a real kicker, you only have to wait around for maybe fifteen minutes before the same people who will say “We are Good White People – Get lost before we call the cops” will then slander China for “oh they have censorship like mad over there – hey, some Black person wants to interview us about the slaves the founder had. Tell them that never happened and threaten them with a lawsuit if they keep pressing. Lies, I tell you. They always like making things up, from ‘Karens’ to ‘police brutality’.” Hoo, the cognitive dissonance is neck-breaking.
I appreciate how accurate they made the documents (most likely pulled from real resources, most of it), the storytelling, the feel, everything. Even the rinky dinky scanning station, the sly enabling of problematic employees, the purposeful “It’s not because you’re Black, it’s because … uh … work” exclusion, and over surveillance.
The visuals are factually accurate but there’s nothing torture-porn gory. In other words, they don’t go super White-Dev-Explores-Painful-Black-History about it. I don’t even remember if I saw the n-word. They’re being that sensitive and accurate and I am 10000000000000000000% here for it. I should know about how accurate the texts are, I literally transcribe 17th-19th century documents for a living. Wow, I wish other devs could be the same.
Blackhaven is also a bit of a taster game for the next game from Historiated: Cassius. Which explores more of Blackhaven’s history, during the thriving hey day of Blackhaven manor. Cassius is available in 2022.
Check them out:
Historiated Games
Q Planet/ Queer Archive/ Rainbow Foundation
I always love keeping up on history, even when it is in the making. Q Planet is a Korean youtube channel about LGBTQIA history, culture and identity in South Korea. I learned about it from following Eun Ha-Sun, a queer feminist who originally was on the Korean talk show “Candid Men and Women” (hard to find and translated versions don’t exist as far as I know but here is the series – have on at least two adblockers. The site is in English, the show is not). She’s now on Q-Planet (큐플래닛) with livestreams and such. From Q-Planet, I learned about the Rainbow Foundation and Queer Archive. Both are Korean sites but they have English versions.
Queer Archive is a treasure trove of Korean queer history, focused on the nation of South Korea. From books to cartoons to historical documents.
Let me gush about the font package, Gilbeot, developed by the Rainbow Foundation. It is provided free for anyone to spread queer cheer in the Latin and Korean alphabet.
Behold!
Look at all the pretty colors! Throw in the ace colors and it would be golden
As explained on the website:
Hangul wears the colours of pride.
The first complete full-colour Hangul typefaces
representing the pride of sexual minorities.The Gilbeot Typeface project was born out of the idea
of creating a Korean Hangul version of the Gilbert Typeface
which was created to honour the memory of Gilbert Baker (1951-2017),
a gay human rights activist and creator of the LGBTQ Rainbow Flag.The typeface name “Gilbeot” is a play on words with the name Gilbert,
but also signifies the word “journey” or “path” (gil) towards a society
that respects diversity that is shared with a “friend” or “companion” (beot).
By the way, installing fonts are not hard, just unzip, look for the font settings on your computer and drop them in the drop box. These are so colorful and wonderful. It is part of a visual arts project to promote queer visibility. Rainbow Foundation talks about it at length in English but there is also a video. It is currently untranslated so no English subtitles, sorry!
If you feel like giving them your money (and are in Korea), they have cute stuff. If you feel like giving them your money (and are not in Korea), they have a donate page.
TransLives.Net
TransLives is currently undergoing censorship (gotta love global queerphobia) so it is not currently active. The site reads (in Chinese): “Due to the Ministry of Public Security’s notification that the website contains illegal and harmful information, it has been temporarily closed and ordered to be rectified.” (“因公安部通报，网站存在违法有害信息，暂已关闭责令整改.”) It is a load of bull, obviously. Especially for a nation with a long and expansive queer history – there’s the ever astounding Emperor Ai (one of my favorite people in history, next to Jing Ke, Ida B. Wells, King Sejong, Benjamin Banneker – it’s a sort of long list but he’s there). Then there’s the fact that bisexuality was the norm in China (mainly before the White people showed up. Yay imperialism and their nonsense offshoots of queerphobia, severe racism/colorism, etc etc.) for a very, very very long time. Was it always Pride in China? More like “no one cared until sniffy people got sniffy” … orrrr “We don’t care who you sleep with – as long as it isn’t with the Emperor. And you’re not amassing power from it.” Things like “Queer Pride” wasn’t really needed because it wasn’t considered any shade of abnormal. And there were bigger fishes to fry – like war, famine, and trying to run a really, really, really big country.
There’s a lot of interesting history getting the king sharpie pen treatment, in other words. Before I continue, let’s point this one thing out – this mention of China censoring queer people & queer existence should not be taken as “Woo, America is better”. America is about as trash as China is when it comes to queer people being treated with any decency, and the decency super plummets when the queer person isn’t White. Is the US government currently censoring queer websites? Not currently to the level of China but whoo, is there a very not-great history of what it is to be Queer in America. For one, there’s the Pulse mass shooting. For two, literally pay attention to any PoC trans person ever for the quickest view. (Or watch Pose, which is a brilliant show filled with wonders – and painful accuracy) Or visit Texas. Or San Francisco, just don’t let the rainbow sidewalks fool you. In short, both countries are very trash when it comes to queer people being treated decent in general. China is getting fussed upon because TransLives.Net is a site for Chinese citizens in China to express and examine themselves and their identities. There are still some spots online, mainly in English, discussing queer existence in China. As well as pointing out the really not-awesome behavior of what is happening, which is striking mainly queer people and feminists in China.
Before the Beijing Ban Hammer dropped, this is what the site looked like, courtesy of the Wayback Machine. (Click to see full pic):
In Chinese
In English
It was a super informative site that, just like Queer Archive, was filled with info (that is thankfully still there due to the wayback machine) for people who are questioning their gender identity in China. The links can still be clicked on and the site traversed (with some lengthy maneuvering with the wayback machine) but it is currently censored, which is not great. However, I still think such a site should be noted! Hopefully it will be back up or the servers moved somewhere out of reach of political chicanery.
Share this:
Hoo, it’s been a minute since the last post, I know. Thankfully still have never caught The Plague – oh, by the way:
I’ve just been busy. The Black Witch Shoppe is still closed until the pandemic is over (I know – there is no “over”. Notice though how we aren’t still ravaged by the Spanish Flu from 1918. There is eventually an end, it’s just a long ways off) but that doesn’t mean I’ve haven’t made new things. I’m not reopening the store yet because there are a lot of supply interruptions – and still a deadly virus going about. I’m currently in a position where I can do this so do this I shall. Last I need is the additional stress of worrying about physical supplies for creation and the postal system.
Instead what I have been working on is my other project/creation – MultiMind Publishing. That has been slurping up a lot of my time. I haven’t even had time for video games or exercise – well, video games that aren’t Tomodachi Life. I can squeeze that into my day and still feel social. MMP is simply my creative writing works. My novels, my novellas, my stories, you get the idea. Right now, only two works are really available – an audiostory (short audiobook?) that was published by Nightlight Podcast, a horror story podcast that features Black horror writers, and a small fantasy novelette that I had put out a year ago. The novelette has been reformatted (yay, me learning Affinity Publisher better) in both print & ebook and the audiobook version is pretty much done. I didn’t self-narrate because I frankly didn’t want to. Then there’s the next work that is coming out next year, a fantasy horror novella. I learned a lot (code for “I went through a lot of annoying bullsh*t”) from the novelette that I am definitely applying on the novella. I talk on the MMP blog why I am going indie (tl;dr – I didn’t have great experiences with traditional publishing as a Black speculative fiction author. Traditional publishing is still very, very White and I, as well as my stories, are very, very not. Also, bad contracts are still the norm there. Not interested.) I post very scantly there because that’s just for random thinks as they pertain to publishing.
But I do want to show the covers here because the covers are pretty and designed by Edge, whose works I really love and admire. Check out more of Edge’s works here.
So pretteh.
Amika is available for purchase, Dreamer is coming out next year.
So that is what I have been working on. I still will be doing my Samhain livestream on Samhain/Halloween itself. I still am not sure if I will be splitting my time between the BW fan page or instagram like I did for the anniversary livestream but I probably will. Either way, shenanigans begin at 3 PM EST on the BW fan page.
What I also have been working on, as mentioned by my twitter, is dealing with another library issue. (To learn about the first one, just slap this site into the Wayback Machine and pick any time in 2016). I’ll let this screenshot of the recently taken down petition sum things up – caution, suicide is mentioned and feel free to click the image if the text is too small (it’s pretty small):
The petition was taken down because the even the university union higher ups thought it was “too inflammatory” (and was notified by the university HR, who probably said “this does not make the university look good. Make something happen”). Apparently Paula’s behavior is “too inflammatory” to post & talk about in public but not inflammatory enough to warrant a pink slip. The university won’t even allow a vigil for Vivien. They never formally recognized Vivien’s passing (I was one of the last people to see Vivien alive and saw her suicide note when she posted it – and still have a copy of it). When the petition maker tried to make an on-campus vigil happen for the 12 of Oct, a few days ago, it gathered the attention and support of the clubs and groups on campus – and then the university lawyers threatened lawsuits on the clubs and group if the vigil were to happen. So not only will the university cape for Paula, they literally try to litigate even regular, non-disruptive things into quiet, like a vigil. And here’s a long comment left by a someone who still works there.
Click the image if the text is too small (it’s pretty small):
Why are people like this in library science? I have zero idea. Very much the definition if the phrase “you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink”. Lawyers are working on it but it is still a very trash thing to happen. And this is just a droplet of Paula’s behavior. She regularly engages in ageism, queerphobia, ableism, etc. And it looks like the university is super ok with that.
Black Witch 